when you are in need, when you needed someone, he/she is never there.

have u ever felt the feeling of disappointment? the question is super corny but, nevertheless - it makes you feel so upset you feel like poking your sharp 6B pencil on everyone's nostrils and ask them to stay away from you. At first you felt so angry, but in the end, you ended up sulking like a loser. how stupid. so embarassing.

AHAHAHAHAHAHHA FUCK.
crying is a useless job. tears are so salty. shedding tears for nothing is stupid.

is this a sad entry? is this an emo entry?
this is like social studies. there is no right or wrong answer.
its on MY OPINION.

have any of you been to the newly renovated Singapore Botanical Gardens?
anybody up for it? wanna go with me?
oh wait. i dont think so. everyone's busy. including yours truly, but i'm always free for these stuffs.

this week, i passed my e maths test & got the highest improvement for Physics.
its still not good enough. i told you i will be working harder this term.

tomorrow i will be staying back after school to help up with my classmates to cook popcorns.
for the charity bazaar, eventhough i'm skipping school on Friday.

oh my.

you treated me like shit but with other girls, you make sure you won't hurt their feelings. its the way you treated me that makes me think you hate me. its like as if i'm nothing to you. nothing significant. nothing special. i've always wanted you. you are my beau. my boyfriend. i see happy couples everywhere i go. how can we not be like them? i sacrificed my time to go out with you all the time, to see you, to hug you, to embrace you, to make you happy. i am never good enough. and that is true.

how queer.
sometimes, people just don't get the drift.
i just cannot focus!
so stop bothering me!

oh fuck i'm jealous of everyone.

haha.

on a lighter note, i have another personal lj account.

[	mood	|	silly	]
[	music	|	Ladytron	]

I might not be able to blog more often now. So this might be a long post.

Sometimes I wish I wouldn't have to handle the shitness in life's like this. I know life sucks, but hey, you've got to move on. YOU'VE GOT TO! If you dont, you're gonna suffer even if you stay in one spot doing nothing. They say life isn't perfect for some of them, excluding those rich bastards all over the world (sorry). But i'm referring to those rich bastards who won't stop boasting about how good they are, how they top the class, how much time they had spent jamming, how much money they have for everyday and etc etc etc, but when it comes to giving donations and support and helping the school authority, they'll back off and wouldn't want to contribute. Snobby and stuckup creatures should just quibble in a corner and die. I do have friends who are like that. Not only that, but they'll think they're so good, they'll even criticise and humiliate other people. And just because the cause of what THEY did to that particular victim/innocent person, it made everyone hate that person.

My teacher, expects every single one of her students to be gracious and polite. Or else, we have to face the consequences. And as you know, i hate having my life being controlled. Well, my teacher saw me and my boyfriend holding hands outside Penin Plaza, and on that day i did not attend school, but i had an MC. She told me she didnt want to spoil my mood, she didnt want to embarass me. In the first place, I dont see any reason why she should even bother to check on me. I dont care if she's being so-called "caring" or fuckshitwhatever. But I hate it, when everytime in class, she'll hit on me with criticisms and words indirectly. She had to make the whole case bigger, like as if i had sex with my boyfriend and we masturbated in front of everyone and a condom sticking out of his pocket. WE ONLY HOLD HANDS. And she said that i'm not responsible enough to be a student, i have lack of integrity, selish, attitude problem and "heck care" about studies. If i am that type, i wouldnt get A2 for one of my subject.

You see, even the slightest thing that occured to you, can have a huge impact in your life. What happened to me, really made me have no motivation to study, no mood to even go to school. Each time I go to school, I kept picturing in my mind, how she shouted and scolded me and humiliated me in class when everybody went back to their home and i had to stay.

So, dont you just get it? You cant always expect everyone to be perfect. Somehow, everyone has their own weakness. If your child is stupid, you cant beat him/her. If u think violence is good, think again. Violence won't have any effect on anyone. okay, i'm digressing. But i'm making a good point here.

I know I've once said that I couldn't be bothered. Teachers tend to have free period at their offices and at there, they'll bitch about their students. I can't help it. My teacher actually said something about me. She said that I deserved to be retained one more year because she thinks I'm not ready or prepared since she saw me and my boyfriend and she thinks relationship ruins education. Well, its not really. If it does, i would've ended up in Sec 4 NT and go to ITE. And and andddddddd, she actually scolded me for holding hands with him and said its against the law and she actually brought up a subject about my parents not knowing how to take care of me and criticising by saying I dont know how to walk alone and not to hold hands. HOW STUPID. its none of her business. I swear, I wasn't even wearing my school uniform.

I'm refraining myself from getting sad or angry easily.

I'm pretty sure everyone hates school, except for some. I do hate school. I dont really have friends there. I do, but from the Sec 4's. But they're all so full of bullshit. They've humiliated me before. I dont see any reason why I should be friends with them because they stabbed me right at the back. They thought i was the backstabber, but they were actually the one. You see, even friendship is very hard to find, especially those true ones.

Ahh enough about thissssssss.
My boyfriend thinks i'm super horny because I tend to say stupid embarassing things when I'm nervous.
There's once i said something offensive quite loudly in the public.

EH!
that anjing at the beats merchants so scary, eh?
the other day the anjing chased me and sharin.
OHMYGOD I WAS SCREAMING.
I EVEN WANTED TO CLIMB OVER THE CARS PARKED THERE.
AHH IM TRAUMATISED.
i think i'm exaggerating.

the anjing at outside Gordon Industrial Building is also fucking scary.
when it comes to dogs, please dont look at me when i'm nervous or scared.
i'll be dumb. my brain will freeze.

oh my god.
i have a remedy for love!

[	mood	|	indifferent	]
[	music	|	yesterday - eva cassidy	]

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday

Suddenly, I'm not half the girl I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
Oh, yesterday came suddenly

Why he had to go
I don't know he wouldn't say
I said something wrong,
now I long for yesterday

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe in yesterday