i'm a mess

daintylittleme @ 2006-12-07T04:17:00

2006-12-06T20:17:52Z

everything's in a mess.
shifted.

will update the new link a.s.a.p.
p.s.: shifted to blogger.

daintylittleme @ 2006-12-06T16:19:00

2006-12-06T08:19:12Z

lately i can't sleep i'm having insomnia problems, i dont know whats wrong, i feel so restless, i've been staying at home since sunday til now.
i dont know why but, i read one of my friend's blogger, she seemed so happy and cheerful and crazy and enthusiastic and i'm so happy each time i'm with her like sisterhood kinda thing, but behind that cute happy face, she seemed to be putting up a masquerade.

i dont really know how to explain but,
i dont know why alot of girls seem to suffer, have to put up with guys and their attitude.

why?
:(

daintylittleme @ 2006-12-06T05:37:00

2006-12-05T21:37:39Z

i really miss alot of people.
the fact that either, they are drifting away from me OR
i've yet to see them soon because dah lama tak jumpe!

I BADLY NEED TO MEET YOU PEOPLE LAH OKAY.
text me, call me, meet up. and have fun la okay!

i'm currently having a bad time with boyfriend.
i said, "I MISS YOUUUUU."
and he said, "gi tido la."
wah. menghalau.

i really dont feel like going to this friday's gig.
BUT I'LL STILL PUT UP THAT HAPPY FACE!

i'm thinking of owning a private blogspot.

daintylittleme @ 2006-11-09T15:11:00

2006-11-09T07:11:25Z

omg.
konek aku daaaaaaa stimmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!

i told u i have a penis.
but small one uh

^_^

serious pe boy?

i wonder why camels are cute.

Ar = Argon
Datok K = Datok Potassium

SEE NADD.
i told you once i get back to lj, i'll type nonsense and random phrases.

daintylittleme @ 2006-11-09T15:05:00

2006-11-09T07:05:33Z

i'll be sixteen soon.
10th november.
soon.
soon.

heh, i still remember what happened last year.

:(

dont.

2006-10-18T20:24:54Z

dont ever be a loser like

yours truly

daintylittleme @ 2006-09-24T17:21:00

2006-09-24T09:26:20Z

its been awhile since i posted an entry.
i've been so busy.
i've been so sad.
dont ask why.
sometimes i cant seem to find the right words.
i've always lost people whom i loved the most.

why.

OK NO EMO.

i'll be back soon okay people. :)
see you all at Monster Mash gig next saturday!
buka puase with me and sharin!
now i need to buy film spectra for my polaroid camera.
damn expensive.
i'll be a witch. (hint)

daintylittleme @ 2006-07-22T02:02:00

2006-07-22T02:04:29Z

"Yesterday we were in your apartment and ~~you were getting drunk off cheap burgundy and~~ you were bearing your poor soul to me. All I could do was stand there and kiss your face and your neck and your hair while you were telling me how amazing things used to be and how terrible the ~~last 3 years~~ it has been; how depressed you were and are but how you're getting better but you want to find a way to make things how they were ~~when you lived in new york and orlando.~~.when you were still with her. I'm sorry that everything seemed to fall apart for you at the same time, and I want more than anything in the world to help bring you back. I felt so stupid standing there listening to you because I know there's no way I'll ever be her and there's nothing intelligent I can say that will make you feel better. So I just stood there. I stood there like the dumb girl you probably think I am and I listened. Because that's all I can do. I can listen and I can tell you that you'll be alright and I can know that you don't believe me. Why should you? You don't know anything about me. I haven't opened myself up to you and I don't know how to. I stand there dumbstruck and wordless and I'm afraid you mistake that for ignorance, stupidity, emptiness. If only you knew how my mind works. If only you knew the things I write about and do when you're not around. At the end of your burgundy-inspired speech you said you don't have a heart. ~~"A she-devil stole it!"~~
Well I have a secret for you. You have a heart, it's mine. And every time you introduce me to someone as your "friend," you're telling me that you don't know it's there, that it's not quite good enough. I'm so in love with you and the hardest thing is knowing that you don't love me. Maybe you're close and maybe you care about me as much as someone can care about someone else, but you don't love me and I'll never have your heart. But I'll let you keep mine until it grows big enough for that hole in your chest. Please don't let it out of your sight."
-letterstolovers

random.

daintylittleme @ 2006-07-21T12:17:00

2006-07-21T04:19:57Z

"Everything I know,
and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls,
when it’s all said and done
it get hard but it won’t take away my love."

i think

2006-07-20T12:15:57Z

when you are in need, when you needed someone, he/she is never there.

have u ever felt the feeling of disappointment? the question is super corny but, nevertheless - it makes you feel so upset you feel like poking your sharp 6B pencil on everyone's nostrils and ask them to stay away from you. At first you felt so angry, but in the end, you ended up sulking like a loser. how stupid. so embarassing.

AHAHAHAHAHAHHA FUCK.
crying is a useless job. tears are so salty. shedding tears for nothing is stupid.

is this a sad entry? is this an emo entry?
this is like social studies. there is no right or wrong answer.
its on MY OPINION.

daintylittleme @ 2006-07-19T15:23:00

2006-07-19T07:35:24Z

have any of you been to the newly renovated Singapore Botanical Gardens?
anybody up for it? wanna go with me?
oh wait. i dont think so. everyone's busy. including yours truly, but i'm always free for these stuffs.

this week, i passed my e maths test & got the highest improvement for Physics.
its still not good enough. i told you i will be working harder this term.

tomorrow i will be staying back after school to help up with my classmates to cook popcorns.
for the charity bazaar, eventhough i'm skipping school on Friday.

oh my.

sarcasm gets on me.

2006-07-17T06:20:35Z

It does.

I want to sleepover. I want to ton. with my friends. but my friends have no time for me.

ahh well.

daintylittleme @ 2006-07-15T13:42:00

2006-07-15T05:42:56Z

you treated me like shit but with other girls, you make sure you won't hurt their feelings. its the way you treated me that makes me think you hate me. its like as if i'm nothing to you. nothing significant. nothing special. i've always wanted you. you are my beau. my boyfriend. i see happy couples everywhere i go. how can we not be like them? i sacrificed my time to go out with you all the time, to see you, to hug you, to embrace you, to make you happy. i am never good enough. and that is true.

enlighten me.

2006-07-12T10:11:45Z

how queer.
sometimes, people just don't get the drift.
i just cannot focus!
so stop bothering me!

oh fuck i'm jealous of everyone.

haha.

on a lighter note, i have another personal lj account.

lets move on.

2006-07-04T11:29:02Z

shit happens in life, you see. you have to be strong. i'm weak & i'm not good.
anyways, i think too much. i agree. i should stop thinking too much and just.. move on.

on a random note,
i wonder why there's so many girls in myspace boasting about how bisexual they are,
and putting religion as Muslim.
don't ever call urself a bixual when you girls have never tasted a girl's cunt, pussy or clit.
if you have, then prove it. prove it to the world since you want everyone to know you're bisexual.
and calling yourself freely gay just because you love guys and u're happy but you havent even done a blowjob...
okay, i'm not great. i know being gay doesnt mean u have to do a blowjob or whatever.
well, sue me. i'm just feeling very random now.

i didnt attend school today. the doctor told me im having a throat infection.
and i have to undergo thonsilities operation soon or maybe next few years time.

oohh.

i dont know.

2006-07-01T19:02:49Z

i've been treated so coldly today.
before the gig.
in the gig.
after the gig.
elsewhere.

i'm confused. o_O ?

i felt like crying on the way home. but the naked guy in the substation made me smile all the time.
so hilarious. he was naked.
i took big steps and looked down and held back my tears.

be contented with your life.

dont be a loser like me. :D

perfection doesn't come easily.

2006-06-29T12:10:02Z

I might not be able to blog more often now. So this might be a long post.

Sometimes I wish I wouldn't have to handle the shitness in life's like this. I know life sucks, but hey, you've got to move on. YOU'VE GOT TO! If you dont, you're gonna suffer even if you stay in one spot doing nothing. They say life isn't perfect for some of them, excluding those rich bastards all over the world (sorry). But i'm referring to those rich bastards who won't stop boasting about how good they are, how they top the class, how much time they had spent jamming, how much money they have for everyday and etc etc etc, but when it comes to giving donations and support and helping the school authority, they'll back off and wouldn't want to contribute. Snobby and stuckup creatures should just quibble in a corner and die. I do have friends who are like that. Not only that, but they'll think they're so good, they'll even criticise and humiliate other people. And just because the cause of what THEY did to that particular victim/innocent person, it made everyone hate that person.

My teacher, expects every single one of her students to be gracious and polite. Or else, we have to face the consequences. And as you know, i hate having my life being controlled. Well, my teacher saw me and my boyfriend holding hands outside Penin Plaza, and on that day i did not attend school, but i had an MC. She told me she didnt want to spoil my mood, she didnt want to embarass me. In the first place, I dont see any reason why she should even bother to check on me. I dont care if she's being so-called "caring" or fuckshitwhatever. But I hate it, when everytime in class, she'll hit on me with criticisms and words indirectly. She had to make the whole case bigger, like as if i had sex with my boyfriend and we masturbated in front of everyone and a condom sticking out of his pocket. WE ONLY HOLD HANDS. And she said that i'm not responsible enough to be a student, i have lack of integrity, selish, attitude problem and "heck care" about studies. If i am that type, i wouldnt get A2 for one of my subject.

You see, even the slightest thing that occured to you, can have a huge impact in your life. What happened to me, really made me have no motivation to study, no mood to even go to school. Each time I go to school, I kept picturing in my mind, how she shouted and scolded me and humiliated me in class when everybody went back to their home and i had to stay.

So, dont you just get it? You cant always expect everyone to be perfect. Somehow, everyone has their own weakness. If your child is stupid, you cant beat him/her. If u think violence is good, think again. Violence won't have any effect on anyone. okay, i'm digressing. But i'm making a good point here.

I know I've once said that I couldn't be bothered. Teachers tend to have free period at their offices and at there, they'll bitch about their students. I can't help it. My teacher actually said something about me. She said that I deserved to be retained one more year because she thinks I'm not ready or prepared since she saw me and my boyfriend and she thinks relationship ruins education. Well, its not really. If it does, i would've ended up in Sec 4 NT and go to ITE. And and andddddddd, she actually scolded me for holding hands with him and said its against the law and she actually brought up a subject about my parents not knowing how to take care of me and criticising by saying I dont know how to walk alone and not to hold hands. HOW STUPID. its none of her business. I swear, I wasn't even wearing my school uniform.

I'm refraining myself from getting sad or angry easily.

I'm pretty sure everyone hates school, except for some. I do hate school. I dont really have friends there. I do, but from the Sec 4's. But they're all so full of bullshit. They've humiliated me before. I dont see any reason why I should be friends with them because they stabbed me right at the back. They thought i was the backstabber, but they were actually the one. You see, even friendship is very hard to find, especially those true ones.

Ahh enough about thissssssss.
My boyfriend thinks i'm super horny because I tend to say stupid embarassing things when I'm nervous.
There's once i said something offensive quite loudly in the public.

EH!
that anjing at the beats merchants so scary, eh?
the other day the anjing chased me and sharin.
OHMYGOD I WAS SCREAMING.
I EVEN WANTED TO CLIMB OVER THE CARS PARKED THERE.
AHH IM TRAUMATISED.
i think i'm exaggerating.

the anjing at outside Gordon Industrial Building is also fucking scary.
when it comes to dogs, please dont look at me when i'm nervous or scared.
i'll be dumb. my brain will freeze.

oh my god.
i have a remedy for love!

but then.

2006-06-28T11:24:12Z

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday

Suddenly, I'm not half the girl I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
Oh, yesterday came suddenly

Why he had to go
I don't know he wouldn't say
I said something wrong,
now I long for yesterday

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe in yesterday

how peculiar.

2006-06-27T09:55:31Z

somehow its pretty awkward that i could actually just "heck care" about what my teacher said about me just now.
i couldnt care anymore.
you expect everyone of ur pupils to be perfect. why should you?
i have my own ways of concerntrating and doing my own things.
my own ways. you're the teacher, but you have no right to actually insult how weak i am.
and how i was in my own private world.
yes., my teacher invaded my private world.
i should be angry. cos she insulted me about me and my boyfriend indirectly just now and even wanted to call the principal.
i wasnt even wearing my school uniform when i was hugging or doing things with my boyfriend.
i couldnt care anymore lah.
i feel like giving up. but still, i wont.

somehow i have the habit of handling things and manipulating, in a good way.
or perhaps, in a calm way.
people say i need psychiatrist/counsellor to help me. but i dont need to.
its my own life. i know whats right and wrong for me.

you know its so amazing to have people in your life,
and made friends with you,
but eventually in the end, they have the purpose to be close to you,
to ruin your reputation, to ruin your name,
to make fun of you,
and trying too hard to steal your girlfriend/boyfriend.
amazing eh? people nowadays are hypocrites.
even i admit, i AM a hypocrite, but i dont go around stealing people's boyfriend.
i'm cool.
yes, i'm very nice to everyone, putting a facade happy face in front of everyone,
and even if i dislike you, i'm still very nice.
but..i'm straightforward.
when i dont like you, eventually no matter what, i'll say it to you.
not in MSN, friendster, myspace or whatever.
but straight in your face.
i'm cool.
my cat is licking my toe.

i'm one amazing happy choppy choppy molopy lamb.
cos i'm one ego shit who doesnt care about anyone but me! my boyfriend! my local friends!

its pissing me off lah okay

2006-06-26T06:33:53Z

P.S.: this is not another emo post. i just want to vent my anger. hehehehehehee.

seriously, the school authorities, discipline teachers and whatever shit, they are pissing me off.
AT LEAST I HAD THE INITIATIVE TO CUT MY HAIR. AND MY FRINGE IS DAMN SHORT.
who cares about the sideburns, for god's sake? i'm not a guy.
LOOK AT THE PLANNER. do they look for sideburns for girl, for me?
bloody hell.
and my teacher had to look at me in such a manner OBVIOUSLY thinking in her puny brain SAYING:
"this girl is really not ready for school. look at her hair. its so messy and improper. look at her grades last term.
ohh well. she's a MALAY retained student. she really bring down the image of herself and her family and....etc."
obviously.

i just cut my nails a week ago, and they had to say my nails are dirty.
obviously its dirty because the school table is dirty and i was writing in it.
you know, it always seem that I AM ALWAYS WRONG IN SOME WAYS OR ANOTHER.
even if i'm not wrong, teachers will ALWAYS find fault.

they say if i blog about teachers and school, i will be in deep trouble.
now sue me for all i care.

i seriously have no fucking motivation to study. look at the way teachers look down on me.
they keep thinking im some bad criminal or something. and then set me aside and alienated me.
no motivation. no effort. nothing sia.

fine, i was stupid, selfish and not caring for others. i dont care about others who love me. that was the past.
and yes, we make mistakes and help one another. but some people just.......dont want to help me up.
ahhh. i cannot go on. i hate school and i have no friends.

OK DAH IM DONE WITH MY VENTING MOOD.
sdfoighjdsuiohjgiohjiofgjhiofgjdiohgjdhiojgfiohjfgiojhofgijhdoijhofgijihodigjhoifgjhibnsduaifbhsduiafa.
yadda. i am a happy lamb once again. i made a porn show all by myself. sharin's the author.
ok dont kill me. i was just kidding.

i cannot believe.

2006-06-25T03:27:13Z

that to sum it up, its already a MONTH?
and tomorrow's schooling. seriously my hair looks like a poodle.
i regret cutting it.

i've not done any of my assignments.
deadddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.

hey, and im still going out with boyf today.
how cool how cool how cool how cool.

guilty pleasure.

2006-06-24T05:37:07Z

3 entries in one row... for god's sake kimmy..
Come lets talk about guilty pleasure.

i do have a boyfriend, there's nothing much to boast about even if you're attached.
the purpose of this post is to brighten myself up. so yes. and not to boast around thinking i have the most amazing boyfriend ever but, i dont mean it, HE IS. EHEHEHEHHEE. people go around thinking we always makeout whenever and wherever we go. thats not true okay! we dont really makeout at public places, for God's sake unless we want to die and go to Police Post and get collected by parents. habits that i like to do around him is that, i like to nibble softly on his soft hands and when he smells good, i like to pinch his nipple. then in return, he will moan like one cow and he will play with my hair no matter how short my hair is.
so currently, he is complaining that my new hair makes him look gay each time i hug him in public.
there's once me and sharin hugged in the middle of the road somewhere in Bugis, when some family saw,
and the small cute little girl said, "MAMA. why do guys like to hug each other?". awww. i feel like poking you right in the eye. then he piggyback me in the underpass all the way to the traffic light. in return i gave all my Pocky sticks to him.

we sound pretty childish but we are mature at some content, in terms of you-know-what. =)
oh, and yeah, we share porn sources too, including movie reviews, NC-16 shows and other parts.
i am one happy lamb. naked pictures.

its pretty sweet looking back those 7 months going 8 months memories back when we were friends before lovers, eh.. Its like.. AWW. he would always spent all his money on me. now i feel kind of guilty. I WILL, STILL, save up my money and buy for him his favourite CD he has been eye-ing on eversince a few months ago, and it costs like.. 30 bucks. i will get it on my birthday and give it to him.

okay, couple happy times, lets skip the part. i feel like chewing off everyone's head or hand or whoever who thinks i'm cute, cos i'm not. i'm one little rascal. i'm quiet like a small hamster but when provoked, i always stand up for my rights and fight back.
i am thinking of going to Lido today with the rest of the people along with boyfriend, but i'm waiting for boyfriend's message. he seriously has to stop the habit of watching soccer late at night and end up waking up late. its not really good, u can actually watch the highlights of the match at NEWS. okay nevermind.

syirr cant go out today. i am very sad.
my mum is cooking something weird today. but i'm still gonna eat. i'm not gonna starve myself anymore cos i find it stupid.

oh, and i forgot how wonderful Las Vegas used to be a few years back i went.
OMG I SHOOK HANDS WITH REESE WITHERSPOON COS SHE WAS AT THE GOLDEN NUGGET.
AHHHHH GOLDEN NUGGET. casinos.
i saw her. yay.
ok. time to makan. chow

daintylittleme @ 2006-06-24T12:51:00

2006-06-24T04:53:41Z

my mama told me that those people who always wake up early in the morning to do exercises, chores or just for the habit, its good for the body and it relieves stress.

OK DAH THATS WHAT A SMALL GIRL LIKE ME ALWAYS SAYS RANDOMLY TO PEOPLE.
ehehehehe.

its a Saturday now.
i think i'm going out soon. see you all somewhere at city hall. =)

i knew that this was going to happen.

2006-06-23T21:23:42Z

imagine being in the shoes of a girlfriend who always sees the boyfriend around his girl friends.
without even thinking or looking, there would be a little jealousy that sparks off from the girlfriend.
the girlfriend kept giving in and try to have patience with whatever she see in her own eyes.
but at last, accused and humiliated because boyfriend thinks its pretty childish and absurd to be jealous.

the past is what moulds you in the future.
i had an exboyfriend for 2 years plus a year ago, and he left me just like that.
i've never cheated in relationships before.. and i'm not the one who usually ends the relationship.
and once again, dont ever accuse me of being a two-timer or player.
people should learn to keep their mouth shut.

anagorisis gig

2006-06-22T18:35:07Z

syafiq says:

that's right

syafiq says:

that's what i saw

syafiq says:

ade gune aku obverse around

syafiq says:

that time kat art housenye gig,ade cassandra

syafiq says:

aku nampak -that SCENE GIRL- dgn sape nta,tgkkan kau, then buat muke

syafiq says:

i SAW that

Doraemon. says:

hahaha

syafiq says:

but kau buat bodoh je la,biar ape org nk ckp psl kau

Doraemon. says:

ahahah mepek sak

Doraemon. says:

seriously aku dari dulu aku slalu nmpk de ckp hello hi ok how are u fine ehehehe. tibe2 satu hari dier buat dek je

Doraemon. says:

aku pun buat bodo

Doraemon. says:

mepek ah

syafiq says:

mepek sak

syafiq says:

buat bodoh uh,org dh action

syafiq says:

ape nk buat

syafiq says:

de nak benci kau,salah de

syafiq says:

bukan salah kau

Doraemon. says:

yaaa . tuu psl

Doraemon. says:

she has this bad habit of making peoploe jealous u know

Doraemon. says:

now she's starting to get friendly with sharin

Doraemon. says:

in front of me

syafiq says:

sengaje tu

Doraemon. says:

mase tuu kat arts house u saw tuu betina and who stare at me?

syafiq says:

nta mane peh pompan

syafiq says:

aku tk kenal

Doraemon. says:

describe to me how she looks like ah.. maybe aku leh cam

Doraemon. says:

rambut pendek?

syafiq says:

a'ah

syafiq says:

taller than her

Doraemon. says:

de ade pakai clip?

syafiq says:

think os

syafiq says:

so*

syafiq says:

bawak bag,pakai mcm sleeveless shirt or something

Doraemon. says:

de pakai cermin mata? spiky hair?

syafiq says:

aku jarang nampak de. i dont know uh

ok. this girl we're talking about was at the anagorisis gig at the Arts house a few weeks ago.
both of them did seem to have a problem with me from far. and i know they do hate me until now. =)
i might do, want to know who that other person is. i've already know who the -scene betina-.
apparently she stared at me from far WITH A FRIEND.
and i know, SHE and her other friend, seemed to have a problem with me cos each time i see her and her group of friends at ij,
when i do circle pits, she'll definately make me trip over and fall down.
and they'll laugh behind my back.
so please, whoever you are, if you hate me, you could at least approach me and slap me in the face.
we could at least talk it out. whats wrong with you? i'm trying to be very nice to you, you know.
i know its just a small matter, but the things you rumoured and badmouthed about me, around the people, my friends,
my loved ones,
it can really affect and so-called "jatuhkan maruah". they seem to enjoy dissing people.
i do diss people, but i always keep it to myself, i dont tell anyone about it unless if i trust them that they wont let anyone else know about it.
i'm not like them who diss people and wants the whole world to know that they hate me.